~runal

Çoook uzun zamanlar önce [link] un forumunda görmüştüm bu yazıyı... Yanlış olmasın lise 2 deydim... Sene 2000 yada 2001 oluyor sanırım... O zamanlar inanılmaz hoşuma gitmişti, o kadar ki grubumuzun websitesine koymuştum. (Hey gibi lise grupları, ama öyle demeyin... Bursada meşurduk ! ) O site tabii ki zaman aşımına uğradı ve kapandı, forumdaki başlık silindi vs ve ben bu yazıyı kaybettim...
Uzuun uzun internette aradıktan sonra tekrar buldum hemde [link] adi altinda bence google kadar kutsal olan bir internet sitesi sayesinde... Buyrun okuyun, önyargıları bir kenara koyup kişilik analizi yapmaya çalışmadan... Hala her okuyuşumda gülmekten ölüyorum valla ne yalan söliim ...

So far I thought the worst phrase a girl can tell you is "we have to talk...". But no, the worst phrase you can be
told is "I love you too... but only as a friend". That means for her you're the most friendly guy in the world, who
listens to her the best... but that she isn't going to date you. She's goind to date an asshole who only wants to go
to bed with her.
But of course, when the other guy does something wrong to her, she'll call you to ask for advice. It's like if you
go to find a job and they tell you "Mr Smith, you're the ideal person for the job, who has the best vitae, the best
prepared... but we're not going to hire you. We'll take an incompetent one. But of course, when he fucks up, could we
call you to fix it for us?" And I ask, what have I done wrong? We've gone to the cinema, we've laughed, we've spent
hours drinking coffee... At which coffee did we make, friends? The fifth? The sixth? Shit, you should have told me,
one less and now I'd be in bed with her! For girls a friend has the same rules as a tampon: you can go to the
swimming pool with it, ride a horse, dance... the only thing you can't do with it is have sex. If you think about
it... if for a girl considering you "a friend" is ruining your sexual life, what will she do with his enemies? It's
great that we're friends, what I can't understand is why we can't "fuck as friends". I believe friendship between men
and women doesn't exist, because if it existed, it would be known. What happens is when she tells you she loves
you only as a friend, for her it means just that. Period. But not for you. For you it means if you're one night
on the beach, she gets drunk, there's a full moon, the planets are aligned and a meteor is threatening the Earth...
Maybe you manage to do somehing with her!
That's why you deal with it and never lose hope. She's with Oscar? They'll break up... when they, do you attack with
the "consolator" technique: "Don't cry, that Oscar is an ass. You deserve something better, a man who understands you,
with brown hair, who's not too handsome, who's named Xavier... like me".
At least that way you can eliminate rivals. It's the "miserable rat" technique. When she tells you:
- Aw, Francis is nice, isn't he?
- Francis? He's nice yeah... a bit cross-eyed.
- He isn't cross-eyed, he just has a tender look.
- Yeah, you're right, I noticed it the other day when he was looking at Martha.
- He wasn't looking at her, he was looking at me.
- See? He's cross-eyed.
The worst thing about the whole thing is that girls consider they have a "superspecial" relationship with a guy when
they can sleep with him on the same bed and nothing happens. Let me get it straight... wouldn't the "superspecial"
be that something would happen? One day after a party you stay helping her to clean and she says:
- Oh, it's too late, why don't you stay to sleep?
- And where do I sleep?
- In my bed
Your legs start shakin "This is my night, the planets have aligned!" After a while you realize it's not the planets
what have been aligned, because she, since you're friends, is on a small shirt and underwear and you, after seeing
that, think "Well, I'll have to be on underwear too..." So you hop onto the bed and bend your knees so she doesn't
notice... She goes on the bed, sticks her butt against you and says "'Til tomorrow". And she's asleep! "How in the
world is she asleep so early? This girl doesn't pray or something?" You're in bed with the girl you like! At first
you don't dare to move, not to touch anything. You know if a contest would be done at that moment, no one would beat
you: you're the hardest guy in the Earth. And the night's soooo long for you! You ask yourself a lot of things:
"would touching a boob with my shoulder be being a bad friend? And if it's the boob what touches me?" But after long
hours you ask yourself one single thing: "Am I really a dumbass?" You can't believe you're in the same bed and
nothing's gonna happen. You trust that any moment she'll turn around and tell you "Come on, you're suffered enough,
make me yours!" But no. Girls never have made you suffer enough. And damn if you're suffering... because all the
blood in your body is accumulated on the same place. There have been cases of men who have even exploded.
But your humiliation doesn't end there. At 7 am the doorbell rings: Oh it's Oscar! Oscar? Didn't you leave him? Oh,
I'll tell you about it later, now I'm in a rush. I forgot to tell you he was going to bring his dog here, because
we're going to the beach, I told him that the dog wouldn't be better with anyone thatn with you. That you're a friend!
You have a bad face... have you slept well? And there you're left with the dog... that's indeed the man's best
friend!